Reflections of Christmas Lights in the Window...

It seems to happen...I don't know why. If I did it would not be happening as much. But regardless, it happens...and not just to me but to everyone. Well I say everyone, but I don't know that for sure. But I would be willing to venture a guess that it has.

I say this because it's really not just one thing, but if you look at the root cause of it all, it does all boil down to one or two things. Let's look at the big list.

Doubt...worry...anxiety...

confusion...too high of expectations...disappointment...hatred...frightened...unsure...indecisive...loud...quiet...lack of care...insensitive... the list can go on.

Now let's look at the root causes...

CONTROL
ACCEPTANCE
JUDGMENT
DISTRUST
...This list can go on but not as extensively as the one above.

So why is it that we all face this? Why is it that we seem to accept some of these behaviors as part of our character? Why do we not try to find the root cause and eradicate the lie in which Satan or even ourselves have fed us?

I've noticed this in my life...that I accept certain behaviors as part of my personality. But that is not entirely truth. The fact that I worry or get anxious or have too high of expectations does not classify my personality. CONTROL is what classifies my personality, or maybe I should say the lie in which my personality has been fed. Because let's face it...I am not even capable of being in control of anything. Not my life, not my friends, not my relationships not even the very car I drive (as crazy as it sounds). And the most ridiculous thing about it is that I REALLY do not want to be in control. I know that I am incapable of being in control. So why is it that this ROOT CAUSE seems to continually sprout up in my life like a dandelion in the perfectly manicured lawn?

I think that even if I say I give it all to God, that I still want to hold on to it. But holding on to it is still trying to have some CONTROL of it. So where does the line have to be drawn and one notice that this isn't working out? That you cannot keep going the same path that you were going? That you have to give it ALL away? I think that it comes when you slow down...look around you and fully allow the grace of God to cover you. When your mind focuses on the Cross and does not wander from the Creator. And that right there seems impossible...but the fact is friends...that it is not impossible.

What it takes is Discipline and Consistency. Without these 2 things and even in the beginning it seems impossible. But as you continue on the road it gets easier because you are making it a part of your lifestyle and no longer does it seem impossible but it seems manageable and then possible. Nothing comes easy. Obtaining the relationship you want with God is not an easy road to travel. It takes discipline and consistency because on that road God is going to show you your flaws and He is going to put rough paths in front of you. And if you don't consistently seek out God but rather come to Him in the times of your convenience then yes, God will become a stumbling block. But if you are constantly in His presence and praising Him and glorifying Him in the good times and bad, then no longer is He a stumbling block but He is the cornerstone of your life.

The sad part is that sometimes it takes circumstances in life to get you to this point. I know for me it has been that way. But I don't regret any of it. And I am still getting to that point but the closer and closer I get, the more and more I can see it clearly. To have this relationship where complete trust in God and knowing that He is in control is amazing. It can be unnerving at first but the more and more that you realize that it will always be out of your hands the more comforting it is. God is good...and it is amazing how He shows it.